Counting Calories.

I can get obsessive about stuff, and then completely lose interest. Back when I was actively trying to lose weight, my game plan was to maintain a 1600-1700 calorie diet and engage in moderate daily excercise. I think this a reasonable plan but the problem is with monitoring calorie intake. It actually makes me think and obsess over food more, which ultimately leads to a complete disinterest in monitoring food intake. In the back of my mind I am always thinking, I shouldn't have to think this hard about food to eat reasonably. Unfortunately, my inner guide on when to stop eating is a little submissive and constantly overrided (is that a word?) by my compulsive habit of overindulgence. Anyway, just for interest fact I counted up the calories to this mornings breakfast and had a little bit of an epiphany, I say a little bit, because I actually already knew what I realized but the significance became more obvious as applied to my meals.

My "brunch" consisted of:

1/2 spicy sausage 110 calories
2 scrambled eggs 150 calories
1 medium red potatoe 200 calories
1 tbsp olive oil mayo 50 calories
1 cup chocolate milk 220 calories
salt, pepper, fresh dill and green onions

Now all together this adds up to a whopping 730 calories, however considering this is 2 meals in 1, that isn't too bad. But if it were just one meal, the chocolate milk definitely should be eliminated. Besides the fact that milk and me don't agree, that is an insane amount of calories for 8 oz of beverage. To think that this is a beverage commonly served to children in addition to their meal, makes it no surprise that obesity in American children is becoming epidemic.

Anyway, the meal itself was very filling and without the chocolate milk was about 500 calories, which is right on target. A 1600-1700 calorie diet typically includes three 400-500 calorie meals and two 100-200 calorie snacks. To stay within this range without obsessively counting calories, I follow these guidelines:

- drink water when thirsty
- I can have one 8 oz beverage a day
- I keep my portion sizes reasonable
- eat last meal before 8 p.m.
- I can have a small fun snack after 8 p.m.

I think this plan is awesome, and so far my only weakness has been BlueBell icecream, of which I eat a whole pint in one sitting, which is usually between 600-700 calories. I would say that is why I haven't lost a pound.

Weird Dreams...

everyone has them and this is one of mine:

Weird Dream #1:

I was at this church and the preacher was actually a vatican dressed in garb reading verses in latin. Except the vatican was also a big white/transparent spider. Towards the end of the dream he started getting smaller and closer to the ceiling and I realized he was hanging by a silky thread.

Alabama.

I spent a large part of my childhood in Alabama. I've lived and visited many southern states, but Alabama definitely has a culture all its own. My mom is white, my dad black. I experienced life in a predominantly white community and in a predominantly black community. I truly believe that racial themes run through almost every interaction I've had. Maybe I'm just sensitive to it... but none the less.



Anyway, I stopped chemically straightening my hair about 3 years ago, something that was started by my mother when I was 4 or 5, and is a prevalent practice among black women. Not straightening my hair has lead me to really examine and take notice of beauty ideals in the black community and how those standards are prevailed upon by American culture as a whole. I find myself a little disturbed at what beliefs continue to be held, beliefs that I once took for granted and absorbed as my own.

A couple of observations from my last trip to AL:

-A lady sits in the shade, and casually asks her daughter has she been in the sun, commenting that her skin has darkened. From her tone, it is clear that the effect is undesirable.



-A small group of teenage boys- sons, grandsons, cousins, and nephews to black older women sitting under trees within listening distance, unaminosly agree that white girls are preferable to any other. The women make no reaction to what they hear.

This sounds both familiar and strange to me, and leaves me deeply perplexed.

A time to buy!

I enjoy shopping... however I am incredibly indecisive at times. Especially with online shopping because it feels much more final to me and the items aren't tangible before purchase. None the less, online shopping has become more and more prevalent in my purchasing experience due to the fact that I live in a super small town and getting some items locally is either impossible or prohibitively inconvenient.



I have filled and emptied my online shopping cart more times than makes sense and now I realize it would be better to wait until payday so I can pay down my credit card before making any additional purchases...

I am going to limit my purchases to these 3 items: citric acid, emulsifying wax, shea butter

Hopefully, I will not be strayed between now and then...

Getting my life together...

Its about time that I got my life together, and by life I mean my home. I need to organize and purge and purge and purge. Okay, I probably don't have that much to purge, seeing how I am constantly editing my material possessions and carting them off to the goodwill. However, somehow, I always seem to amass enough items (each season) to make a good trunk full of stuff to haul to the goodwill. It really goes against everything I believe in.... this over consumption and disposal of goods, but I really don't know how to avoid it. How do you avoid something you don't see coming? I don't shop that much, the majority of money is spent on food items. Where is this stuff coming from? Lets see if I can make this make sense...

1. My son- I do have clothing items (bought to fit me during pregnancy and after childbirth) that no longer fit because my size has been slowly decreasing since I gave birth and these items (mainly pants) don't fit flatteringly anymore (this is coming from my husband whose opinion I value on matters concerning the appearance of my butt in aforementioned pants).

2. My husband's mother- Ok, she doesn't really hold any blame here, but I am going to go ahead and assign her some. First of all she constantly calls me to ask me what size my baby is wearing because she is out shopping and just found an unbelievable sale at Children's Place or BabyGap or some such other store.... it doesn't matter if I say we don't need anything, if the deal is good enough she will certainly buy the items and justify it by saying that SOMEDAY he will be able to wear it and if not she has 4 more grandkids, etc.... How this relates to my current clutter, ummmm... well, ummm there are at least 1 or 2 baby items here that I don't need, I am sure... let me just look around for a minute...

3. My husband- this jerk wanted to keep a vodka bottle because it was shaped like a skull last week. Obviously I unceremoniously hit the dumpster with it while he was at work. This is one small example of his attitude toward decluttering and organizing. (eta: people may think I shouldn't call my husband a jerk on a public blog, but it is a fact, he tends to be a jerk, it requires a certain amount of constant self-awareness for him not to be, and that self-awareness is often lacking. Just stating the facts, doesn't mean I love him any less...)

4. My neighbors- I blame them for not moving out of the bigger house that my family is renting to them that I would like to move into. If I had more space I could organize my stuff better...

Okay thats enough of that, I am going to be a big girl after I finish playing on the computer and my sweet baby wakes up and go get started!